Leadership Essentials: Authenticity
Why do we hide our personal struggles in the workplace?
Our lives shape who we are, and by concealing our hardships, we’re often holding back a crucial part of ourselves that could make us stronger, more empathetic leaders.
Let me share a chapter of my life that changed everything about my approach to leadership. At 29, I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. I was in the middle of a big career transition, moving from creative agencies to IT leadership at a major New York company. I was fully invested in proving myself in this new role when my world was upended by a life-changing diagnosis.
The journey through cancer was a hard reset—one that ultimately taught me several lessons that I now carry with me into every role. Here’s what I learned, and how those lessons have shaped my approach to leadership:
1. The Truth of Corporate Empathy
Facing cancer highlighted a harsh reality: corporate empathy often falls short. HR’s cold, procedural responses to my situation were eye-opening, teaching me that many organizations struggle to truly support employees through personal crises. From that point on, I promised myself that I would be the kind of leader who cares, who checks in, and who never dismisses a team member’s struggles.
2. Redefining Happiness
I returned to my life and career with a new understanding of happiness, largely thanks to my mother’s wisdom. I realized that a successful career wasn’t enough to fulfill me. Happiness, I learned, requires balance, and I’ve carried that lesson into every team I’ve led. I encourage work-life balance because I know firsthand that no job alone can bring true contentment.
3. Authentic Connections Matter
Cancer quickly revealed the depth of my relationships. Some friendships couldn’t withstand the strain, while others grew stronger. This experience sharpened my instincts about people—an invaluable skill in leadership. I’ve become a firm believer in trusting my gut when it comes to evaluating relationships, both personal and professional, and that instinct has yet to steer me wrong.
4. The Courage to Ask for Help
Therapy was life-saving for me, and it taught me that seeking help is a profound act of strength, not weakness. Now, I foster a workplace culture where people feel safe seeking support—whether it’s for personal challenges or professional development. It’s part of creating an environment where we don’t just work together, but support each other.
5. Choosing Self Over Career
Returning to my role after treatment, I faced the challenge of downsizing my team. In a pivotal moment, I decided to step down rather than sacrifice my health and well-being. Since then, I’ve made it a priority to place my needs above relentless career advancement, and I’ve never regretted it. This choice taught me that a fulfilling career and personal well-being should never be mutually exclusive.
6. Trusting the Journey
Stepping away from that role led me to a tech start-up, where I found my true passion in marketing. This leap of faith taught me the power of embracing change and trusting myself. Today, I face decisions with a sense of confidence, knowing I can adapt and thrive no matter what the future holds.
Bringing It All to Work
These experiences shaped me into the leader I am today. I don’t leave these lessons at the door when I step into the office—they’re the foundation of my leadership philosophy. The honesty, empathy, and resilience they fostered are invaluable, and I believe we should normalize sharing our challenges and the growth that comes from them.
By being open about our journeys, we heal and redefine what leadership can mean. Let’s be brave enough to bring our whole selves to work, find strength in vulnerability, and build deeper connections through our shared human experiences.